Two weeks ago we introduced this new series, Ekonomia: Home Management toward Heaven. If you missed that article or video, check it out here. And last week started building our home management system by Simplifying. This week we are going to start this program by working on simplifying. If you want to watch the video, check it out below. Otherwise, continue reading for this content in blog article format.
Building a Firm Home Management System
This week we are working on building a firm foundation, by starting small and staying sustainable.
Now, where each of us if going to work on this firm foundation is going to be very individual. So I can give some suggestions, but these are not an exact checklist to measure yourself against. It is a FRAMEWORK that can and should be customized. And particularly so when it comes to the spiritual foundation. What I say here isn’t meant to be a complete view of the spiritual foundation of our lives. Just a snapshot of how it works together with the physical and family foundations of our home life.
Spiritual Foundation
Now with that out of the way, let’s get into it! First let’s talk about the spiritual foundation: daily prayer. As Christians we are called to pray constantly. And, in order to pray constantly, we need to pray at certain times.
I have to say that, of all people, I can understand the challenge of routines. I like to just follow the day where it takes me, and do whatever seems right when it comes up. But the fact that it is challenging to me (and that I am tempted to tell myself I work better without them) doesn’t make routines less important. Instead, it means I need different strategies to make them work.
When building a new routine, be it for prayer or for other things, it is important not to try to do too much at once. For example, if you only say prayers before meals and sleep, don’t start by saying “tomorrow I will pray Matins, my prayer rope, 15 minutes of silent prayer in my room, and Vespers.” Trying to start doing everything at once sets yourself up for failure. Instead, we want to set ourselves up for change. So start small, build slowly, and stay sustainable.
Daily Prayer Routine
Now let’s talk about building a daily prayer routine. First of all, consider the many different types of prayer. Adoration, petitions/intercessory prayer, thanksgiving, and praise. Then, consider what particular devotions you feel called to. Some specific Byzantine devotions include the prayer rope or Jesus Prayer, akathists, and praying before icons. Because of the times we live in now, I wholeheartedly recommend a daily rosary, doing 5 of the 25 Byzantine Mysteries a day. But if you don’t already do a rosary, for 25 days do one decade a day, going through all the Byzantine mysteries. Then you can build up from there!
What about if you are starting from a place where you don’t pray daily? Well for that scenario I have a go to recommended routine to help you get started.
- Week One: Heavenly King prayer every morning, an Our Father and Hail Mary every night
- Week Two: Week One prayers plus a decade of the rosary every day
- And after that: Week One + Two’s prayers, plus once you are confident with the above, add 5 minutes of silent prayer before an icon. Gradually increase that time to 10 minutes, and then 15 minutes. Also, when you are comfortable, work towards moving the daily decade to a daily rosary.
If you are already confident with your daily prayer routine, revisit the types of prayers and devotions and consider if there are any changes you would like to make.
Physical Foundation
After the spiritual foundation, let’s look at the Physical Foundation – making our homes a sacred space. We want our homes to visibly be our domestic church, our own small embassies of Christendom within the world.
Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine your home as an Embassy of Christ in the world. What do you see? What changes would you want to make to fulfil this vision? Even if you think your ideas sound silly, note them down. If you have printed our free Ekonomia Printable Packet (available in the link provided below) there is a journal page for making notes about your vision of your home as an Embassy of Christendom.
Simplify First
So, when we were simplifying, we did a declutter of our physical space. However, decluttering can be a long and hard process. (Remember to check out my blog article describing some obstacles to decluttering for some help with these). But also, even if you aren’t happy with the results thus far, all your efforts for decluttering count. Offer up your efforts and struggles to the Most Holy Theotokos.
Another trick, though, is to take pictures throughout the decluttering process. Our mind adjust to having less stuff very quickly, but if we look at pictures of our home over time we will be able to see and appreciate the difference.
Anyway, whether or not you see a difference from decluttering, you are still making a fresh start. So now, if you can, see about getting a priest to come and do a house blessing.
So hopefully you get an appointment for a house blessing, and you’re committed to continue working on decluttering. What’s next?
A Clear Kitchen Sink, Saves Stomachs
Okay yeah this is a bit tongue and cheek. But seriously. Doing the dishes every day is the number one thing. We didn’t have a dishwasher for the first four years of our marriage and I grew up hating doing dishes. I know the struggle! But then one year, during Lent actually, I challenged myself to do the dishes after every meal as a penitential act. And it was hard. But I immediately saw the benefits. And once I had done the 40 days of dishes after every meal, it was much easier to move to just doing the dishes after supper.
Doing the dishes daily makes preparing meals easier, it makes mornings easier, and it builds discipline.
After dishes, getting on top of daily laundry has the same effect. Unless you are a small family and once a week is working fine (or if you have to take laundry out of your home to do it), then the goal is one load a day, and (hopefully) put away. But if the laundry is done and at least in the right room, clean clothes are available to everyone in the house, and there is no laundry room pile up.
Folding or putting away clothes is a common household challenge. So one thing I try to do to make it easier is to pair it with something I do want to do, like listen to music or an organizational podcast. Pairing something you don’t like to do with something that motivates you is a good trick to help you get unstuck from the procrastination.
Spending $$$ Rule
Oh, and before we move on, if you are also working on organization right now, I have a rule for you. You have to declutter AND deep clean a space before you are allowed to spend money on organizing products.
Family Foundation
Finally, the family foundation. Communicating love. In Genesis, during the description of creation, God proclaims that everything is good. Well, everything except one thing. It is not good that man should be alone.
It is a very curious thing, really. God did not make us to come to Him entirely alone, to be reliant only on Him. He made us to need each other. To need each other’s prayers, and to help each other on the journey to Heaven. But it makes total sense when we consider the Trinity, and the two greatest commandments. God is love, and God made us to love. To love God and each other.
Now the thing about family – is that it is probably the most difficult part of home management. People have different needs and schedules and personalities. There are probably hundred of videos out there addressing the question “how do I get my family to help out around the house.” But I suspect this is all looking at it backwards. Young children are filled with unconditional love for parents, as well as an ease for expressing it. They want to copy their mothers, sweeping, “cooking,” or wiping down counters. And I think this desire is ordered around two things. One is a desire for work, to be successful in accomplishing an activity with perceived value. And the other ordering is toward love. Children, filled with love and admiration, want to imitate their parents.
The spiritual life takes work. Effort. Though sometimes, and especially at the beginning of this journey, we may be given many consolations. The physical foundation of our home takes work: dishes, laundry, cleaning, and organization. All of this requires varying degrees of effort. Building a loving family life centred around Christ also takes work.
The Work of Love
The question is, how does one go about the work of love?
Well it starts with taking inventory of where you are at. Does it feel like your family is just all together in the same place? Do you do things together, but it is a struggle? Perhaps you do enjoy spending time together at home. Or, most glorious of all, you can see the fruit of your family life as an icon of the Holy Family.
Think about these questions. What is going well? What isn’t going well? And what do you want to change the most?
Also, how do you show love for your family? Is there time for hugs and snuggles? Do you say nice things about them and to them? Do you spend focused time together?
The Byzantine Life
Thank you for tuning in to this week of Ekonomia: Home Management Toward Heaven. Let me know in the comments below, which foundation do you think needs the most work in your home right now? The spiritual foundation, the physical foundation, or the family foundation?
For the free printable set that goes along with this video series, click here!
Thank you for checking out this week’s article. If you haven’t already, you can read our article about St. Gregory (Jan 25th) or the Three Holy Hierarchs (Jan 30th)
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