In the last six years of parenting, I have learned many lessons. Messages that have stuck with me and that sometimes I need to go back to. Today I will share four of the most influential lessons on me as a parent!
Lesson One – I Can’t Do Everything… but God Can
There are many difficulties when it comes to be a choleric mother. First, there is the struggle with repetitive tasks. I know changing diapers provides value to my baby, but it is difficult to appreciate changing diapers for the eleventh time that day. Second, there is the struggle to appreciate the work of the day. Somehow, I can do a load of laundry, feed the kids several times, do homeschool, read, and still feel that I accomplished nothing by the end of the day. (One day I messaged my husband every few hours with what I had done so far that day, so when he came home and I felt like I hadn’t done anything he was able to remind me just how much I had done). And third, I want to do everything, and manage it all perfectly.
Not being able to “get it all done” really bothers me. But one day, while reading Sarah Mackenzie’s Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler’s Guide to Unshakable Peace the solution got through to me. “I can’t do everything, but with God everything I can do is enough”
Mackenzie explains it better than I am here, but basically she shows that, when it comes to your kids, just offer God what you have and what you are capable of doing. And then you need to trust Him to bring forth the fruits in your children. She uses the metaphor of the loaves and fish. We bring our loaves and fish, and God multiplies our efforts – He is the one who provides the miracle.
“It doesn’t really matter if we have the most beautiful, carefully thought-out plan if there aren’t enough hours in the day to get to it. Look, if God expected you to get 36 hours worth of work done in a day, he would have given you 36 hours to do it. If you have more to do than time to do it in, the simple fact is this: some of what you are doing isn’t on His agenda for you.” ―
Lesson Two – Prepare Your Children for Success
When I first became a parent, I had a negative opinion of the Montessori Method. Thankfully, I found out she was Catholic and read her work in order to clear up my misconceptions. Now I love her process for preparing children to participate in family life.
Although Maria Montessori offers many great lessons, there is one message I often need reminding of. This article from Sophia Homeschool reminds me of the diligent process I need to undertake to prepare my children for successful days. A few years ago, ByziMom shared it in the Byzantine Homeschooler’s Facebook group. Now I have it bookmarked on my computer! And whenever the routines of homelife become a struggle, I go back to the messages of the article.
Mainly, I have to slow down, show the children what they are expected to do and how they are excepted to do it, and cut back on “all the extras” until the family has settled into any new routines.
Lesson Three – “Don’t Let Your Kids Do Things that Make You Not Like Them”
While I was in University, Jordan Peterson came out as a sort of Canadian celebrity. After Little Fox was born, the book “12 Rules For Life” came out. While I didn’t read the whole book (or maybe I just don’t remember) one chapter stood out to me. Rule Number Five: Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them.
How many times do I hear parents say “I can’t wait till the summer is over and my kids are back in school?” Too often. And every time I cringe. Not that moms don’t need and deserve breaks sometimes… but schools are definitely not the solution. (Also, you don’t want your child to be the kid the teacher is thinking “I can’t wait till that child goes home for the day” about).
Sometimes we have to think about what is it that is making my child so difficult to be around right now. And then we have to teach them not to behave in such a way. For example, I remember I was starting to feel burnt out. So I spent some time observing my interactions with Little Fox. What was happening during the times I felt overwhelm? Little Fox was interrupting me! Therefore I needed to teach her not to interrupt me! Once I observed what the problem was, it was simple to look for a solution
Lesson Four – Remember Your Child’s Death
A few years back I read a Lenten reflection book called “Remember Your Death.” It was mainly about living each day remembering that you will die. Recently I purchased the book: . The beginning has already struck me. The author asks: how often do we work hard to protect our child’s earthly body? But how little do we focus on our child’s immortal soul?
As Catholic parents we are very concerned about our children’s souls. It is one of the reasons why we homeschool. It is one of the reasons we chose to raise our children in the Byzantine tradition (infant reception of communion!). And why I prepare catechesis materials such as explaining the St. Ephrem prayer to children. However, an honest examination shows that I am still more focused on preparing my children for life on earth than for eternal life. I spend more energy getting our daily math lesson in, than ensuring we don’t miss icon corner time.
So reading Parenting for Eternity reminds me of the most important message of all: “Stop Acting Like Your Child’s Earthly Life Is More Important than His Eternal One!”
The Byzantine Life
Thank you for checking out this week’s article! We are finally over our colds in our home and starting to plan for Great Lent!
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