With my first two children, naps happened without much extra thought. Usually the girls nursed to sleep, until they got older and started falling asleep on their own. Then Little Owl came into our lives. And he fought naps like they were demons coming to get him! So it was time for me to put a little more consideration into how babies nap. And this is what I learned.
The Importance of Being Napped
Before going on this journey to figure out how to help my baby nap, I knew the importance of naps. In fact, that is why I waited till Little Fox was five and a half before dropping her nap. Naps increase memory and learning, and aid in mental and physical development, and promote better nighttime sleep. And when I looked for a medical citation for this, it seems naps can also help with fitness. But the main thing I knew is this: if I can’t help my baby have good naps during the day, his night sleep is going to suffer.
Nap Routines
We always had a bedtime routine for the girls and little owl. I knew the importance of a bedtime routine, and heard of nap routines. But somehow I couldn’t understand how to have a routine for naps. I mean, you can’t spend thirty minutes getting ready for an hour nap! So, I finally looked into what these sleep experts mean by a nap routine. And apparently what you are doing in the 2-3 minutes before you put baby down for naps is enough! Mystery solved!
So I took the last 2 minutes of the bedtime routine and made it into Little Owl’s nap routine. Actually I adjusted the bedtime routine to add a hymn after prayers first, because I didn’t want the evening prayers to be a part of every nap since Little Owl still needed around 5 naps a day at the time. So here is our routine for naps:
- Turn on sleep music (I know most people use white noise but this has worked for all our children. The music is specifically intended for sleep and doesn’t include the sort of variations that stimulate/wake the mind).
- Turn off lights
- Sing Hymn (I use “Now the Powers” from Presanctified Liturgy. If I memorize the prayer of Simeon someday I will change to that one since it is more appropriate, but I work with what I know)
- Put the baby down on his bed, usually while I am finishing the Alleluias
When I started using this nap routine, Little Owl went from super-fighting every nap, to falling asleep within 5 minutes every time. It was totally amazing!
Naps for the first six months
Babies, depending on their age, can only be awake for a certain amount of time between naps. And this amount of time should be your first priority in determining when to put your little baby down for a nap. (Sorry Little Fox and Little Badger – I shouldn’t have waited until you were so tired you fussed and so I fed you to sleep). The amount of time babies can be awake does vary from baby to baby, but generally it is close to an average range based on babies age (or baby’s adjusted age if preemie). There are m
any wake time charts available across the internet. But here is what worked for Little Owl once I started following waketimes.
- 4 Months: 1 hr 15 min to 1 hr 30 min awake before nap routine
- 5 Months 1 hr 30 minutes to 1 hr 45 minutes awake before the nap routine
- 6 Months 1 hr 45 min to 2 hrs 15 min before nap routine
Nap Needs Hierarchy
During this age range, following these wake windows are the most important in order for baby to nap. After following the window, my next main goal was to have most naps in baby’s bed. My third goal was to decrease the amount of help I was giving Little Owl to fall asleep.
From 4-6 Months I was laying beside baby after the nap routine until he fell asleep, to leaving the room after finishing the hymn. The first nap of the day is the easiest nap for baby, so I started by leaving him just for that nap. Eventually he was able to fall asleep easily for all of his naps. Although, now that he is seven months the last nap of the day is difficult again. So I have gone back to laying beside him just for that last nap. Or rocking him in the car seat.
Even in the 4-6 month range, the last nap of the day is the hardest. So make sure to help your baby have it if baby can’t do it alone!
Naps from 7 months on
Sometimes You Have To Wake a Sleeping Baby!
This shocking fact has totally changed how I view naps. I was so grateful once Little Owl started napping longer than 30-45 minute stretches. So I couldn’t imagine actually waking him up from a nap! But here is why it is necessary sometimes.
If baby naps too long, but has small wake windows, than baby won’t be able to fall asleep for the last nap of the day, but be too tired before bedtime. Babies need to spend a certain amount of time awake each day. If bedtime is too early, than baby will be under-tired, and wake up very early in the morning. But still not have enough night sleep to be well rested. If baby goes to bed without the last nap, but stayed up longer than a good wake window, baby will be over tired, which also leads to a poor quality night sleep. And often, to early rising as well.
So, sometimes you have to cap the duration of a nap.
First I had to cap Little Owl’s naps at 1 hour and 15 minutes, and now at an hour, or he won’t have his third nap. Since he can only be awake happily for 2 hrs 15 – 2 hours 45 at a time (7 months) he needs three naps a day to be awake for the proper amount of time. Once he can handle some three hour wake windows, I will be able to drop the third nap, and stop capping his other naps.
The Nap Hierarchy for Older Babies
The priority for older babies is setting their circadian rhythm. So if baby wakes up from a nap early, or wakes up for the day early, I don’t move his nap time up by more than ten minutes. Some days this means he has to be up for longer than his wake window would allow for. But otherwise he will get in the habit of waking too early.
Although circadian rhythm is the first priority, how you know when this should be set is based on your baby’s wake window. The wake window and the rhythm of the day will change slowly as baby grows. You know it is time to extend the wake window when a) baby is not tired enough to fall asleep at usual time any more. And b) when baby starts waking up early from a nap that was normally fine before.
The Byzantine Life
Thank you for checking out this week’s article! Baby sleep is one of my top priorities as a mom. For one, I never got postpartum depression, but I do get not-enough-sleep depressed. So it isn’t good for me or the kids if we aren’t getting enough sleep. For two, having well rested children really is so helpful for them. I see how well their mood is compared to other children who struggle with sleep and naps. And I know my cross – the struggle of my need for sleep – has actually benefited my children since I prioritized helping them sleep well. It can be hard to work on sleep with children, but I promise you the effort is worth it. Don’t feel guilty for making the right decision for you and your child!
Did you see our article on starting quiet time with your kids? Even if your baby is still napping, it is not too early to start teaching the skills to play independently! Also, check out our recent article on praying daily with kids.
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